On My Vlog...

... I said something along the lines that I had been struggling. And I also said that the first three project attempts felt, well, uninspired. Well, now I want to say that I pressed through, found total interest, and then too the excitement I always feel about my making. This, of course, comes only on the other side of doubt because that is where inspiration thrives. The reason is something I want to share with you about experiences I have found at points in my life. If you didn't catch the vlog, it's here.

Sometimes, often, the hardest point in being creative is the stare you get when you open to a new page. Call it writer's block if you want to. It affects every sphere of art. A white sheet remains unspoiled until the pen, the pencil makes that first point of contact. Striking the line will follow on only with a concrete and clear thought. Our doubting seems to stymie our creativity and we might well vacillate until clarity makes its path. There are times when my pen seems to flow freely across the page be that in a sketch, a technical drawing, a writing, or whatever. Why should it be any different if we lift the tools to the wood and the wood to the workbench? Often we feel inspired but have no plan.

The mind is, of course, plays tricks on us, it's where the greatest battles take place. Self-doubt can permeate our thoughts and we can become discouraged. But discouragement may not be in our own ability to determine the course, it can also come from surrounding issues. What I know is this: when I start a drawing and it doesn't look great I keep drawing. I keep drawing and drawing and fill in the blanks until it represents what I envisage in my mind. There comes a breakpoint when the drawing transitions from not representing what I want, into a close resemblance. Suddenly my spirits lift and I find rest.

The same is true when I write, of course. The words seem jumbled. the sentences incomplete. I rough out on paper to capture thoughts and then i stop and look at the nonsensical statements scattered not in randomness but just incompleteness for lack of the exact word. I go back to my original thought somewhere on the page and remember the feeling `i had in what I had not spoken but said inside my head. I retrieve the gist of it and continue until a passage, reread several times, encapsulates the whole of my intent with clarity.

Doubting you can do anything and do it well is always the first barrier to overcome. No matter what I make , and even when a joint goes badly, a drawing seems childish or a writing goes nowhere to begin with, I choose always to finish what I began and I do that because it's just good for me to recognise my imperfections.

Today I have five nice projects completed. They are not complicated, but they did take some thinking through, and, of course, as ever, I love them for the extra effort it took for me to overcome the invasiveness of COVID-19 and the pandemic it caused. In the future, I will forever recall my struggle towards inspiration in making each of these projects as an open door for others to develop and grow their skills.